To be short and sweet: I’m closing the chapter in my life that is Redefining Bipolar.
But don’t panic. For me this means I’m moving toward a redefined Redefining Bipolar. The person who started this blog and the person I am now are two very different people. After many months of not understanding why I couldn’t write, I realized that I actually can — I just can’t write under the idea of “Redefining Bipolar” anymore. And, for me, it has always been an idea. It was the question of what bipolar disorder could be, and weirdly enough I feel like I’ve stumbled upon an answer (for now).
For the last year or so, especially near the end of my Master’s degree, I have struggled specifically with calling bipolar a “disorder.” I have written, on many accounts, of the positives bipolar has brought me. But, I have always held back because of the fear of having rose-tinted glasses, or minimizing the struggles of others, or being too politically incorrect. Ironically, I ended up minimizing my own experiences because of these fears. So I’m not going to do that anymore.
For me — and I am speaking very personally — my bipolar is not a disorder. If anything, “bipolar” is the umbrella word that others have used to characterize an enormous amount of experiences in my life. So I journey to step beyond that curtain to find something that resonates with me more. I have always stressed the importance of language and it is with this spirit that I journey forth. There are many other words I want to find.
I don’t expect any of this to be relatable. But it will explain why you won’t see any more posts from me at this particular location.
Oh, I forgot to mention: I’m starting a new blog. Follow my twitter for updates on that. What, did you think I would just leave like that?